I’ve done a lot of thinking recently as an individual and with the Sky Q. Recently, in the dead of the gloom, I’ve had multiple conversations with brothers about our relationships with our brides, our M. Recently, I remembered Pete Rose and a metaphor that has helped me personally. 

Pete Rose holds the Major League record for hits with 4,256. To put that into perspective, only 287 players have 2,000 hits and only 32 have 3,000 hits (Roberto Clemente sits right at 3,000). Only Rose and Ty Cobb have over 4,000 hits. Pete Rose knew how to get on base. 

Pete Rose also knew what he was good at. Getting on base. That meant all he had to do was hit singles, not home runs. In one of the educational leadership trainings I teach, we call that celebrating small wins. There’s a photo of Pete Rose making a head first dive on that slide. Getting a single was key to his career because just getting on base is the best way to score.

Recently, I’ve been applying that philosophy in life. In GORUCK, during a heavy, a small win is taking 20 steps and switching shoulders that log cuts into. It means rotating off the 5 gallons Jerry Can and lifting a sandbag off a brother’s shoulders. During a welcome party, it means resting with your chest and head in an upright position, not leaning over in a position of surrender. Those are small wins that allow a man to push through a Tough, Tough/Light, or Heavy. Still those small wins don’t matter.

The game that matters most to a man is his relationship with his bride, his M or Most important relationship. It centers what a man does and why he does it. That relationship is not always easy to maintain, especially for busy men, men who lead, and therefore, are sometimes separated from our Ms by distance. Sometimes that distance is geographic. Sometimes it’s mental or psychological. 

What Pete Rose taught me about life is that I don’t have to hit a home run in order to strengthen my relationship with my M. Just hit a single and get on base. Sometimes that’s means clearing my calendar and eating lunch with her. Sometimes it means getting a cup of coffee and talking only about her before trekking out on a CSAUP event weekend. Sometimes it means cooking dinner and doing dishes. Sometimes it means clearing my calendar to pick up my oldest from school. Sometimes it means putting down that damn phone and just engaging in a simple conversation. 

Like Pete Rose, sometimes a single leaves you stranded on 1st. Sometimes, you get to steal 2nd. Sometimes another hit allows you to sprint towards third. And every now and then, you get home. Not to score like a middle school boy tries to, but like a high impact man. You see your bride smile, feel a gentle touch, know that hundreds of singles mattered to the team of you and your M. 

So, to my shield lock, when I ask you about Pete Rose, I’m asking about how you specifically aimed to get a single to strengthen your relationship with your M, not to score a home run. I’m asking about the simple acts you performed to get on base, to cause a spark, to speak a love language. This much I can promise you, the more singles you get, the more likely you are to score…