On April 20th, 2019, @F3Washington planted their flag in Bear Grass  (Population 70). The preplanning for the invasion was done months in advance. The target date was placed on the April calendar and details were finalized the week before with Pax agreeing to shut down normal operations in Washington on that Saturday. The following are the Operational Details. For Your Eyes Only:

Phase 1: Appoint Q for operation, Cornhole, and send him out at 5:30 gloom time. Mission Goal: to scout the AO, terrain, course and competition.

Phase 2: Pax Clown Car: https://twitter.com/Cadmus126/status/1119216329989472256

Phase 3: Pax scheduled arrival time 7:15. Bear Grass Time.

Phase 4: Wear F3 Black Mudgear. Ranger Panties optional but preferred.

Phase 5: Check-in and identify Target… Peter’s Run 5K. Flexing and Neck Rolls for intimidation.

Phase 6: Plant the Flag. Bear Grass is now ours.

Phase 7: Circle Up called by Flo. In Cadence, Mary Style:

  1. 20 Side Straddle Hops – Flo
  2. 20 Butt Kickers – Largemouth
  3. 20 Don Quixote’s – Cornhole
  4. Stop there. Don’t show them everything at once.

Phase 8: Q – Cornhole welcomes the racers. Plays it cool.

Phase 9: Devotion and prayer. Even Patton prayed for good weather before he kicked the German’s tail.

Phase 10: Walk to starting line. Flexing and intimidation performed along the way.

Phase 11: * The moment Largemouth forgot to pee after the devotion.

Phase 12: BGFD Siren Start. False starts not penalized.

Phase 13: Run 1.5 miles to the orange cone in the middle of Bear Grass (Population 70).

Phase 14: Run back to the finish line, understanding that some of the Ladies from the Bryant Mile would be welcoming the finishers. Everybody loves a winner. Especially those wearing Ranger Panties. Extra points for Golden Locks.

Phase 15: Give the ladies a show. Finish strong. (Bonus points for Dirtbag Pickle Pointers at Finish Line)

Phase 16: Awards:

Male Overall (Under Protest: against Michael Lee for running the Bryant Mile)

Place Name Bib Age Overall Location Time
1 MichaelLee 63 53 1 Clayton NC US 20:17
2 Grandma’s Boy 71 19 2 23:09
3 Ramses 52 40 3 Washington NC US 23:46
Male 20-29
Place Name Bib Age Overall Location Time
1 Kickball (Dominates his division) 66 29 5 Washington NC US 24:30
Male 40-49
Place Name Bib Age Overall Location Time
1 Mamma’s Boy 67 42 4 Washington NC US 23:56
2 Largemouth 72 45 8 26:09
3 Flo (Got Lost In Bear Grass) 70 42 19 31:42
Male 60+ (Double Respect)
Place Name Bib Age Overall Location Time
1 Dirtbag 55 60 11 Washington NC US 27:21
2 Wolverine 73 69 12 27:25
3 Woody 54 61 17 Washington NC US 30:54

Phase 17: Gather the Bounty: Medals and Sausage Dogs


Phase 18: In Victory, Clown Car back to Washington, Home of Champions

Phase 19: Bonus memory for Kickball:

TClap |