The alarm wrested me from my sleep at 5:04 a.m. No light yet shone through the curtains of my boudoir. Groggily I reached over to turn it off, and thought, I could go back to sleep. What would it hurt? BUT NO. I dragged myself from bed. I did it for you, my loyal PAX. I could not leave you to fall victims to Bluto. I must make you strong!
Arriving at the School Yard, I saw that my offer of training has been well received. No fewer than 17 PAX gathered to become better men through misery. And so we began.
Warmup
FIVE BURPEES
High knees
Side straddle hops
Don Quixote
Good evenings, nice and slow
And then it was off to the track, where in honor of a most improbable and enjoyable title run by the Tar Heels (though it fell just short by a mere three points), we begin Four Corners – circling the track with an exercise at each corner.
Lap 1, Corner 1 – Merkins
Lap 1, Corner 2 – Squats
Lap 1, Corner 3 – WW2
Lap 1, Corner 4 – Peter Parkers
Lap 2, Corner 1 – Werkins
Lap 2, Corner 2 – Lunges
Lap 2, Corner 3 – LBC
Lap 2, Corner 4 – Plank jacks
We retired to the bleachers at halftime, not for rest, but for dips and calf raises.
Lap 3, Corner 1 – Ranger merkins
Lap 3, Corner 2 – Imperial walkers
Lap 3, Corner 3 – WWI
Lap 3, Corner 4 – Mountain climbers
Lap 4, Corner 1 – Merkins
Lap 4, Corner 2 – Boom squats
Lap 4, Corner 3 – V-Ups
Lap 4, Corner 4 – Peter Parkers
Despite ample mumble chatter from Charlie Brown and Bono, who also went traipsing through puddles, YHC was satisfied overall with the effort, so we went light on the postgame sprints – just one sprint back to the starting corner for FIVE BURPEES.
Clock Management
People’s chair for a five count from each PAX, with hallelujahs, toe touches, punch outs, etc.
Mary
Overhead claps, LBC, boxcutters, American hammers
COT
Prayers for Shrimp’s recovery and Psycho’s coworker who’s moving on to another opportunity. Thanks to Psycho for the opportunity to lead.
GO HEELS!