Jeffrey, Intentional and One Word….a Call to Action and Challenge to the PAX

I didn’t have plans of writing this today or putting this challenge out there to the PAX.  But, as I was riding home from the afternoon visit that Bono and I made yesterday, I felt led to do so.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  I felt led to go on the visit.  I felt led to reach out to my F3 Brother Bono and ask him to join me on the visit, because there’s comfort in knowing there’s a trusted partner by your side when you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone.  It’s not often that I walk up to a stranger’s door and knock, asking him what his current situation is and wondering how I might be able to help.  But that’s what I felt led to do.  The result?  A man I had never known, a man I had never met, shared bits and pieces of his story while I asked him a few questions.   My Brother Bono stood slightly to the side and back, as a trusted wingman does, listening intently. Then, the man said something so profound to me that I was at a loss for words.  The man said he was blessed by our (Bono and I) visit!  I thought to myself “how can this be”?  Knowing his story, his situation, and comparing it to mine, how can this possibly be?  He commented that “nobody comes down this road to see me”.  That’s when it hit me.  The man felt blessed simply because we came to see him.  Tears began to fill my eyes.  As a good wingman does when the Lead is in trouble, Bono stepped in while I got my thoughts together.  I recalled the words of Splinter as we prepared for Hurricane Matthew relief efforts over a year ago, “always ask them if you can pray for them before you leave”.  I don’t know if the man is Christian or not, but his head was bowed and eyes were closed before Bono and I could remove our hats.

As we walked away from the man, I continued to process what he had said, what his situation was like, and how I couldn’t imagine being in that situation.  After we surveyed some of the damage, we climbed back into my truck and headed back into Greenville, passing abandoned double-wides and homes along the way that had been flooded over a year ago during Hurricane Matthew.  We headed back to the comfort of the “city”.  To the comfort of our homes with clean, manicured yards, nestled neatly between others in our neighborhoods.  Safe we were from the rising waters of the mighty Tar River that devastated the Belvoir area near Old River Road and many other areas and communities across Eastern NC.  Back to my home where we exchanged gifts that were things we wanted but didn’t necessarily need, for Christmas.  Back to the new Dyson cordless vacuum that quickly and easily cleans up the dog hair on my hardwood floors, while remembering the moldy, buckled floors of the man’s home that has been uninhabitable for over a year.  The man’s home that we could see as we spoke to him while standing on the tattered deck of the single wide he currently rented.  At one point during the conversation, he referred to the rental as his home but quickly stopped mid-sentence and said “but that’s really my home,” as he pointed across the yard.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  The man isn’t just some man.  I mean, he is a man, but he has a name and goes by Jeffrey.  I found out about Jeffrey about a week ago when Cousin IT sent me a text with some photo clippings from a newspaper article about Jeffrey and his family and an email listing clothing sizes for each of the family members.  His message was “You think we could get involved and help with this in some capacity?”

I had no doubt we could do that, but I wanted to get some thoughts together and determine the best approach.  I decided to ask for a volunteer “Q” to lead the effort and put it out on Twitter.  No takers.  I felt led to dig more and asked Cousin IT if the article had been in the paper that day and he said no.  I asked if he could get a contact number and he began working on that.  In the meantime, Christmas came and went and quite honestly, I didn’t make an effort during those days to follow up.  After Christmas I began digging some more and found an old newspaper article online about Jeffrey that ran on October 21, 2016 (http://www.reflector.com/Matthews-local-aftermath/2016/10/21/Families-returning-to-flooded-homes.html) that describes how Jeffrey and his family weathered Hurricane Matthew in their nearly paid-off double-wide on Stokes Road, but were told to evacuate when the flood waters began rising a couple of days later.  They moved some of their personal belongings to higher ground, only to return a day or two later to find them stolen.  They lost almost everything they had and began staying in a small camper on the property to keep people from stealing the belongings they had left.  He didn’t have insurance on his double-wide, because the insurance company told him it was too old to insure.  Jeffrey was hoping FEMA would help him out.  “It was bad, but we’ll make it” he said.

I’m not sure of all of the details and sequence of events between the time that story ran and the story that The Daily Reflector ran on October 14, 2017 that Cousin IT sent me, but I think it’s safe to say that not much has happened. Unfortunately, the story isn’t much different.  Jeffrey had to quit his job because he was diagnosed with COPD and emphysema a few months before the flood and is now on oxygen full-time and work.  He couldn’t work due to the COPD and couldn’t get any other financial assistance, so he filed Chapter 13.  He told us he just started receiving disability.  Everything he worked for his entire life was literally flooded out, and without him working, he and his wife have no means to truly start over.  So, they rent a single-wide across the yard from his old home.  A single-wide that used to be a storage trailer.  He said he fixed it up a bit, but there’s only so much that can be done.

The man didn’t complain once while we were there.  Quite the contrary.  He was grateful.  He was thankful.  In his words, he was “blessed by our visit.”  I suspect that there are 10’s if not 100’s of others in Pitt County who are still in the same situation.  I would have thought that at this point, someone would have probably helped them get back on their feet and get their lives back in order.  It’s easy to assume that’s the case, isn’t it?  I know I’m guilty of thinking and behaving that way.  There are plenty of resources out there.  It’s been a year.  But as we drove away, I began to wonder “Who are those resources?  Who are those people who are supposed to help?  Is that why I felt led to follow-up and meet Jeffrey to understand his situation?”  I don’t yet know the answer to that.  But that’s not the point of the message I want to deliver….

For the past couple of years, I’ve challenged the PAX to determine their One Word at the beginning of the year, and living true to that word throughout the entire year.  The premise is that instead of making some New Year’s Resolution that is meaningless or some unachievable task or goal, live out a word through the entire year.  A word that will change you and others along the way.  In 2016, my word was “Give.”  For 2017, it’s been “Serve.”  I’ve been trying to figure out my word for 2018.  The visit to Jeffrey ultimately led me to the word “Intentional.”  I had to be intentional and take the initiative to push myself outside my comfort zone and visit Jeffrey.  I will continue to be Intentional in 2018.  Intentional actions will drive change and improve discipline.  Intentional actions will push boundaries, barriers and limits.  Intentional actions will hopefully impact others in a positive way.  As I mentioned in the beginning, I didn’t plan to write this.  I felt led to write this.  I felt led to visit Jeffrey and hear his story.  He was grateful.  He was thankful.  In his words, he was “blessed by our visit.”  Truth be told, I think I’m more blessed than him by the visit.

So, in continuing to live the word Intentional, I’m intentionally challenging each and every one of the PAX to do the same and find your One Word for 2018.  You can find the One Word book on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Word-That-Will-Change-Expanded/dp/1118809424/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=6N9WB3K5SD2J8W9PJZ58) that will help you determine that word.  It’s a quick read, but takes some personal reflection.  I guarantee it’s worth your time and effort.    Not only do I challenge you to determine your word and live it out in 2018, but I challenge you to put it on your Twitter profile and make it known to other PAX at the COT so they can hold you accountable and you can hold them accountable.  That’s where the 2^nd and 3^rd F come into play.  That’s where things get real.  That’s what pushes men outside of their comfort zones.  It’s not always easy.  It’s not always comfortable.  But neither is showing up in the gloom and pushing your body.  You’ve taken that step.  Take the next.  What do you have to lose?