The mumblechatter started the night before. As I sat in my garage eyeing the bumpy contours of my weighted VEST, a tear slowly percolated from my eye and slowly trickled down my stubbly cheek.  “How could he say this about you?” I thought to myself… “How could BONO call you out like that?”

LYNARD had simply asked me to Q and then put the reminder information on SLACK at 6:16 PM.  NOONAN responded to this call to action with a MEME GIF of a kitty saying “OH SNAP” – Respect…. YHC thought he was in the clear.  Positivity would reign supreme… but then it happened…

8:27 PM – BONO finds the need to chime in [not even addressing YHC] – “Certainly I hope FIN knows he has to have a RUCK to Q Ruck Ready.”

Let me start here – why does one ever start a sentence with “Certainly“? I’ll tell you WHY – condescension at its finest.  Apparently, YHC is not as cool as most of the RUCKing Crew. YHC likes to keep RUCKING classy, grown-up, and, dare I say it, sophisticated.  YHC is a gentleman, so he rucks with a VEST.  Hell, I have gone to grade school – this insistence that I wear a backpack any longer is insulting to my being.  Enough about me though… back to the insufferable BONO.

Back and forth comments ensued. BONO continued his insult-laden diatribe telling YHC that his VEST was “not allowed”. He then used even more condescending diction saying “Seriously, a Q needs a ruck.”

Now, YHC can endure insults, he was raised by a step-father for God’s sake, but BONO went too far with his next comment… This [little] man (BONO for the not so good readers) had the audacity to call YHC’s VEST a GIRDLE, and then he proceeded to pontificate on the history of girdles insinuating that YHC was a “lady”.

Sadly, I acquiesced to  this Napoleonic-Bully, this small, feeble-minded, partially blind, geriatric turd (BONO), and told him that I would use his RUCK the next AM in the GLOOM.

So, there I was… in my garage with tears in my eyes talking to my VEST, trying not to make eye-contact.  Through broken language, I told him that I wasn’t proud to don the backpack, and I agreed with him that it was a betrayal.  I explained that sometimes in life you have to do things for the weak and elderly (BONO).  Sometimes you have to turn the other cheek. Sometimes you have to sell-out to fit in.  I assured him that he wasn’t a GIRDLE, and I explained how jealousy can ruin lives.  It was a rough night, but I believe everyone learned something.

In the GLOOM, I borrowed the RUCK…. and… YHC will have to say it was better than the GIRDLE.

Love you Bono.

We also welcome CARNY.  It took a while to come up with the name, but I think we got it right.

[THE THANG]

Intro + Disclaimer + Pledge
WE Covered nearly 3.5 miles – here’s how we did it.

Warm-Up
10 x butt kickers
10 x high knees

RUCK UP – (MoSeY) RUCK to Soccer Field
[Partner-up]
6 Rounds –
A – R1 Plank R2 shoulder taps R3 Merkins R4-6 Plank or Shoulder Tap
B – Speed Mosey to specified area 50y
Hold plank for 6

RUCK to Opposite side of complex – Soccer Field
[Partner Up]
4 Rounds –
A – R1/3 Squat Hold R2/4 Squat
B – 4 lengths speed Mosey

RUCK to Side Parking Lot – The long way
3 Ruck Laps + 1/2 Lap Shuffle (RuN) + 1/2 Lap EZ
2 Ruck Laps + 1 Lap Shuffle
Retrieve the SIX before starting the SHUFFLE

Prayers – Bench’s mother, Grout’s 2.0, Cousin IT’s 2.0, Patch’s M